Monday, September 22, 2008

Struggle as a Parent

Well, I may use this to vent a little, but I would love some feedback!

Most of you know that my Step-son, Raul is a little guy. Most of you know what a hard life he had for the 1st nine years of his life. Right now I am struggling with the whole fight or flight thing!

Raul has played football for the lst 3 years and basketball, too. There is a dad, that always coaches basketball in his age group and Raul goes to school with his son. The first year that Raul played basketball, he was on this dad's team. We figured out pretty quickly, that he may not have the coaching style that we were looking for. No big deal...there was another group of boys and that coach agreed to take Raul the next season. It was a great experience and Raul LOVED basketball. Then comes the 3rd season, we had no doubt that he was going to play for the 2nd coach and everything was right with the world. Then the 1st coach made a comment...and Raul found out about it in a round-about way. The 1st coach told the 2nd coach that Raul wasn't any good and that he was too small. Raul hasn't played basketball the same every since this happened. Move forward another 9 months or so...

Raul has signed up to play football...we go to the practices, Raul is really excited. About the 3rd practice, our famous basketball coach shows up and has enlisted to help. CRAP! Joe went to the head coach after practice and just let him know about our situation and to please keep an eye on everything and he agreed that he would. At practice last week, Raul was sent in by the head coach to play safety, he was immediately was sent off of the field being told that he was too small to play safety. The head coach did correct the situation, but it was already said and implanted on the brain of a 12 year old boy. This Saturday we had our first game, Raul was put in for a whole 4 plays and 2 of these were kick-offs. Sunday before his other game, I approached the head coach and let him know our concerns and he was very upset, he had no idea. In his defense, the head coach is in a wheelchair and he depends on the asst coaches to take care of most of it. He assured me that this Sunday game would be different and Raul would play! GREAT! The assistant coach wasn't there and we all had hope of a good day. 1st quarter, Raul was in for 4 plays and all was right with the world. 2nd quarter...the assistant coach shows up and Raul only went in for 1 play. 3rd and 4th quarter...Raul went in for a grand total of 1 play!

What do you do when you look on the sidelines and see your kid with his head hanging? He came to me to get a drink and made the statement that he hadn't got to go in since "H*****" showed up. He knows what is going on and now is convinced that he isn't any good. He was told that he was too small and the actions of the coach have only proven it as far as Raul is concerned.

I am TOTALLY against kids quitting, but in this case are we making worse by making him stand there? I feel like I should let you all know that our assistant coach that has solely convinced Raul that he can't play basketball or football is a preacher. I am not going to talk to Kids, Inc. because I have been on that end of everything and they will have to come down on the head coach and that isn't fair. I am not going to talk to the head coach again, because I have already voiced my concerns and I can't expect him to monitor 1 kids playing time when he has over 20. I will not talk to the asst coach, because he is an extremely unintelligent soul and it is a waste of time. My concern only lies with Raul.

Monday, August 18, 2008

A New Leaf

It is no secret that I'm not perfect...shocking, I know! I am the type of person that has 15 projects going on at any given time and I love it that way! I have been accused of being somewhat OCD, but the truth only know the half of it. In the last year or more, I have not had the energy that I am used to having. Of course, I can blame it partially on the fact that I had Mono earlier this year, but even at that...I have not been myself. For my own sanity, here is a list of the things that I have faltered on:
My house!!! omg, I used to clean daily and took pride in it!
Laundry!!! I have lived next to Mt. Iron-me-please for over a year!
Cooking!!! I feel like my recipe book could be replaced with take-out menus!
My Yard!!! I love to do yard work and just can't bring myself to get motivated
My kids!!! I hate that they don't get to go have fun like they should!
ME!!! No secret, I keep gaining weight.
Here is to turning over a new leaf. I have to get these things under control in order to save my OCD, energetic, clean house, manicured lawn, meal on the table, crazy-free mind!

Friday, August 8, 2008

10 people I know

Here's the rules:
Think of 10 people you know...

[1] say what you really think about them.
[2] don't use names.
[3] never discuss it again.

1. We haven't seen each other in years, but I will always consider you one of my greatest friends! Who else could I stay up with until all hours planning our next plan of attack?

2. I have known you forever and I know soooooo many secrets about you! I will always consider you one of my BEST friends and will never forget being rescued from Southwest park with you!

3. Our friendship is fairly new, but I have grown to trust you more than most people. Few other people will understand my OCD moments and respect them.

4. Although you are younger than I am, I have a ton of respect for you! I have never met someone so stubborn and strong willed. You deserve and earn every accomplishment.

5. We have known each other for a few years, but have just become good friends in the last couple of years. You are the person that I wish I could be. I look up to you in so many ways!

6. You are my BEST friend. I have gone to you for everything and I know you will listen without judging. I have laughed harder with you than anyone ever and miss seeing you more!

7. I really don't know what happened to us. You are and always be one of my dearest friends, but sadly we have grown apart. I still think of you often and worry about you always!

8. You are one of the craziest people I know. I am very proud of you for what you have become. I have definitely seen the best and the worst of you!

9. As one of my newest friends, I love it when our families hang out. You are such a wonderful person even though I learned alot about you and your traveling habits!

10. You have made me laugh for YEARS! Although we haven't been the closest of friends, I respect the fact that you were willing to adopt me with a minor name change!

Leave me a comment and guess if you are one of these!

Weight Watchers

OK OK OK...It is no secret that I need to lose weight. I have promised my Mom, myself and JULIE that I was going to join weight watchers for a few months now. I have said that I would start working out "next week" for 52 weeks now. It is time to bite the bullet and just freakin DO IT! I have so many excuses and reasons why I can't, so I thought if I post this out in the Universe, I would have too many people to answer to. So, here we can hold me to it! I am leaving town for Post this Monday and will be back in one week. I will join weight watchers the week that I return. I expect you all (as my friends) to stay on my fat ass and push me through. I may cuss you, but it will be out of love!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Middle School!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh My Gosh! Abby and Raul will start Middle School this year! They are excited (of course), I am a nervous wreck. At this point in their lives, I am rethinking every parental decision that I have ever made. "Lord, please show me I haven't screwed these kids up!" I know they are great kids, but honestly...think of the things we all did when we were this age and in the next few years. OH CRAP!

Pray for me and Joe.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Story on my Parents

Most of you know the story, but some may we go.

On Easter Weekend, my parents, my kids and I all went to Post to visit my grandma. Easter is a big holiday with my family and our cousins from Colorado come every year. We arrived on Friday night and Saturday morning at 6:30, I woke up and heard a weird noise. After I got up to check what was going on, I found MaMa sitting on the side of her bed...she had had a stroke. Immediately, our families world was turned upside down. Thank God, the stroke didn't permanently effect her physically! The main trouble was and is her speech. She was, of course, in the hospital for quite some time and then sent to Rehab. Mom stayed there and took care of MaMa.

Mom being gone for all that time was really hard on me. I am used to seeing her EVERY day! Dad was obviously back in Amarillo all this time back at work. On May 1st, Mom called me about 2:30 and said, "get over to the house...Dad's been fired!" When I walked in the door, I was just sick! No one wants to see their daddy that upset. I put him on the road to be with Mom and so he could get all of his thoughts together. He had been with this company for 19 years and 10 months. He will turn 65 in November! Nice combination, don't ya think?

I had NO idea that after Easter weekend, Mom would never come home. I sure didn't know that when I put Dad on the road on May 1st, he wouldn't be coming back. Decisions had to be made and the obvious choice was for my parents to relocate to Post to continue taking care of MaMa.

Thankfully, Joe and I were able to buy Mom and Dad's house and they have moved in with MaMa. I know that God had his hands in the whole situation and things are the way they are meant to be, but if I am honest with myself...this has been one of the hardest things that I have ever been through. Selfishly, I want my Mom and Dad living 2 minutes away. I know that they are not too far to visit, but let's be honest! Have you seen the schedule my kids have?

The kids and I are going to go spend one more week in Post before school starts. Realistically, we probably won't be able to go back and visit again until Thanksgiving.

I have always heard that God never gives you more than you can handle. With everything that I have been through in the last 3 years, God must think A LOT of me!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

We have successfully moved!

As many of you know, we bought my parents house. It is a bitter sweet move, because I would have lived in any other house if it would have meant them staying. Anyway...that's a whole other blog! We signed our papers and officially took over on August 1st. Come by and see us, I love living in my childhood home!