Monday, September 22, 2008

Struggle as a Parent

Well, I may use this to vent a little, but I would love some feedback!

Most of you know that my Step-son, Raul is a little guy. Most of you know what a hard life he had for the 1st nine years of his life. Right now I am struggling with the whole fight or flight thing!

Raul has played football for the lst 3 years and basketball, too. There is a dad, that always coaches basketball in his age group and Raul goes to school with his son. The first year that Raul played basketball, he was on this dad's team. We figured out pretty quickly, that he may not have the coaching style that we were looking for. No big deal...there was another group of boys and that coach agreed to take Raul the next season. It was a great experience and Raul LOVED basketball. Then comes the 3rd season, we had no doubt that he was going to play for the 2nd coach and everything was right with the world. Then the 1st coach made a comment...and Raul found out about it in a round-about way. The 1st coach told the 2nd coach that Raul wasn't any good and that he was too small. Raul hasn't played basketball the same every since this happened. Move forward another 9 months or so...

Raul has signed up to play football...we go to the practices, Raul is really excited. About the 3rd practice, our famous basketball coach shows up and has enlisted to help. CRAP! Joe went to the head coach after practice and just let him know about our situation and to please keep an eye on everything and he agreed that he would. At practice last week, Raul was sent in by the head coach to play safety, he was immediately was sent off of the field being told that he was too small to play safety. The head coach did correct the situation, but it was already said and implanted on the brain of a 12 year old boy. This Saturday we had our first game, Raul was put in for a whole 4 plays and 2 of these were kick-offs. Sunday before his other game, I approached the head coach and let him know our concerns and he was very upset, he had no idea. In his defense, the head coach is in a wheelchair and he depends on the asst coaches to take care of most of it. He assured me that this Sunday game would be different and Raul would play! GREAT! The assistant coach wasn't there and we all had hope of a good day. 1st quarter, Raul was in for 4 plays and all was right with the world. 2nd quarter...the assistant coach shows up and Raul only went in for 1 play. 3rd and 4th quarter...Raul went in for a grand total of 1 play!

What do you do when you look on the sidelines and see your kid with his head hanging? He came to me to get a drink and made the statement that he hadn't got to go in since "H*****" showed up. He knows what is going on and now is convinced that he isn't any good. He was told that he was too small and the actions of the coach have only proven it as far as Raul is concerned.

I am TOTALLY against kids quitting, but in this case are we making worse by making him stand there? I feel like I should let you all know that our assistant coach that has solely convinced Raul that he can't play basketball or football is a preacher. I am not going to talk to Kids, Inc. because I have been on that end of everything and they will have to come down on the head coach and that isn't fair. I am not going to talk to the head coach again, because I have already voiced my concerns and I can't expect him to monitor 1 kids playing time when he has over 20. I will not talk to the asst coach, because he is an extremely unintelligent soul and it is a waste of time. My concern only lies with Raul.

1 comment:

The G' Unit said... a parent I feel your pain and concern...I know this would make me hot under the collar but at the same time VERY protective over my son and his well being. I feel that this is unfair...and voicing your concerns was a GREAT move. I would have a heart to heart with Raul and tell him that there will be coaches out there who definately do NOT know what the heck they are talking hopes of finding the GLORY they never knew...This is the time to find strength in proving how strong and quick he is...!! I haven't made it to your stage as a mama yet...and I know it be hard as a parent to see your kidz feeling lousy...just because they were told negative things...but the spirt of proving someone wrong always is a powerful thing!
I hope I didn't rant on...and this makes sense! Keep on Keeping on Raul!!!